julie sondra decker the invisible orientation

Saturday was a lovely day with Meggie.

* Gray and demi identities are considered to be “on the asexual spectrum”-there are lots of in-betweens! See Part Two of this book for more discussion of romantic identities and types of asexual people, including the gray areas.

Do you sometimes develop sexual attraction when you’ve already developed other important connections with someone, but never feel sexually attracted to strangers, celebrities, or mere acquaintances? You may be demisexual,* and you’ll also have a lot in common with asexual people if you are.

Do you feel sexual attraction sometimes, but only rarely? You may be graysexual,* and you’ll have a lot in common with asexual people if you are.

Do you think having sex (or the idea of having sex) is okay, but not very interesting or important? Could you take it or leave it, and find leaving it more convenient or preferable? Some people would call that asexual.

Do you develop sexual attraction every once in a while, but don’t find its pursuit or satisfaction intrinsically rewarding? Some people would call that asexual.

Do you find other people sexy-in a way that makes you feel sexual desire or arousal, or a way that makes you think sex or sexual touching with that person would be satisfying (regardless of whether you’d actually do it)? If you don’t feel this with anyone, you may be asexual.

The Invisible Orientation: An Introduction to Asexuality Asexual artists know and accept that most people are attracted sexually to others, so if they want to write realistic books or movies, they generally have to create at least some of their subjects with that dimension attached to them.” Asexual artists cannot be restricted to creating media that is devoid of sex. Art can be used to express personal desires, but no one should assume someone must be doing so if that person depicts experiences or images contrary to personally expressed desires, and no one should use a person’s artwork or subject matter to invalidate claims. What artists choose to make art about has absolutely no bearing on what they’re attracted to or what they might want to experience themselves.

Or they might reverse the issue and suggest asexual people have no business creating this media-or that they can’t be good at it-if they don’t have personal experience.

This can be especially difficult to explain if an asexual artist does create sexually explicit material, because people want to know whether they’re creating this because they secretly desire it. They do not have to be attracted to other people to appreciate or create positive portrayals of these relationships. Some asexual people have no problem with consuming media that contains sexual content. Some asexual people write stories or produce art depicting sexual situations and/or nudity. “Actually, some asexual people celebrate sex-up to and including engaging in it themselves despite lack of sexual attraction.

Julie sondra decker the invisible orientation